Covered In Dust

who is your neighbor?

2010-08-30T16:40:00.003-04:00

"christ told us how to survive when he answered the question, who is my neighbor? in the tenth chapter of luke he tells the story of a samaritan who care for a jew who had been badly wounded by thieves. as we know from the precedign chapter, in which the disciples suggest in effect the firebombing of a samaritan village, the smaritans and the jews were enemies. to modernize the story, then, and so to understand christ's answer, we may substitute any other pair of enemies: fundamentalist christian and fundamentalist muslin, palestinian and israeli, captor and prisoner. the answer: your neighbor is any sufferer who needs your help.

~ wendell berry

so . . . what's next?

2010-03-24T14:11:00.002-04:00

so as most of you that read this, if you still read this, know that i work with students.

well, its getting close to that time of year. close to that time of year where seniors begin to get asked that ever important and very annoying and i think wrong question; what are you plans? what's next? what are you going to plan on doing with your life?

however you want to word that question, i still am not a fan of it. i've been out of high school almost 10 years, out of college 4 years. i have no idea what i really want to do with the rest of my life. why do we expect 17, 18, 19, 23 year olds to know the answer to that question?

maybe i hate that question or those questions because i think they are the wrong questions to ask. to be very frank, i don't give a rip what you plan on doing 10 or 15 years down the road. i probably don't even care what i'm going to be doing 10 or 15 years from now.

now i do understand that i am guilty of asking students that question myself. i understand that. but i think i've come to a point to where i want and need to stop asking that question of myself and of high school seniors and senior citizens and anyone in between

i think a better question to ask is what are you doing right now? who cares about what we have planned 10 years from now, we may not be here 10 minutes from here. we've not been guaranteed tomorrow, we've heard this before, but we sure as hell don't live like we've heard it. i know i don't. i live like i have the next 40 years to do whatever i want. there is no longer any urgency to tell people about Jesus and His love for us. i'm as guilty as anyone.

now i'm not saying that we don't need to plan and try to figure out things. but i don't think we need to place the importance that we do on those questions and those ideals. is it not more important to follow God and listen to the Spirit now, then to figure out what happens 10 years from now.

you can read all through the Scriptures and see how individuals, groups of people, nations, they didn't care so much about the destination, how long it would take to get there, the rewards or the costs of the trip, if they had enough in savings, if they were able to buy the newest "cool" thing, if they had health insurance, if they had a 401 k, they didn't care about those things. we seem to give those things the title of of being "vitally important details." but what was important to these individuals that we find in Scripture that lived this way was that they just followed. they went.

we invite Jesus to come along for the ride we call "life" with us and ask Him to join us instead of going where He has already commanded us and doing the things He has already asked us to do.

francis chan says this; "A lot of us need to forget about God's will for my life. God cares more about our response to His Spirit's leading today, in this moment, than about what we intend to do next year. In fact, the decisions we make next year will be profoundly affected by the degree to which we submit to the Spirit right now, in today's decisions."

Called Out of Darkness

2009-12-02T13:29:00.002-05:00

This is an excerpt from Advent and Christmas with Thomas Merton. This is a book I started reading November 29th and it has a reading for each day leading up to Christ's birth and a pray to go together with it for every day.

"Every baptized Christian is obliged by his baptismal promises to renounce since and to give himself completely, without compromise, to Christ, in order that he may fulfill his vocation, save his soul, enter into the mystery of God, and there find himself perfectly 'in light of Christ.'

As Saint Paul reminds us (1 Corinthians 6:19), we are 'not our own.' We belong entirely to Christ. His spirit has taken possession of us at baptism. We are the Temples of the Holy Spirit. Our thoughts, our actions, our desires, are by rights more his than our own. But we have to struggle to ensure that God always receives from us what we owe him by right.

O Lord, awake us from the comfortable existence in which we to often may be safely cocooned, and challenge us to accept the call of our baptism. Afflict us with yoru grace so that we take seriously our efforts to aid the poor, to comfort the sad and lonely, to let our light shine as a beacon to all who may need our help. Allow us to serve also as a wake-up call to our brothers and sisters whose companionship in Christ we share. Amen."

there was evening and then there was morning

2009-11-03T10:24:00.003-05:00

so i'm working my way through the book of genesis with a friend of mine and i've been working/wrestling/reading/studying/listening to sermons and so on, on the genesis for a while now.

this morning as we were studying and discussing it, and we only made it to day 2 this morning, but we noticed something that i had never picked up on and had just skimmed over it all the other times i had read genesis 1.

vs 5 - "God called the light Day, and the darkness He called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, a first day." (Jewish Study Bible)

Nothing out of the ordinary if you were to just read it and move right along you're merry way.

what caught us off guard was that he mentions, after he names them "Day" and "Night", he then says that there was "evening and there was morning".

he mentions evening and then morning. i wonder if that maybe means that God starts his day off with rest. i seem to find myself saying that i start my day off with morning, with light, with the "morning", but it caused me to see a new side of "rest" of maybe "sabbath."

maybe my day is out of balance if i don't start out with rest, if i don't see that i start my day off in rest.

this then caused my mind to run to the book of psalms where chapter 62 talks about resting in God.
62:1 - "Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him."

62:5-8 - "Yes, my soul finds rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress. I will not be shaken. My salvation and honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge."

maybe we need to find rest first, before any more of our creative process begin to happen. maybe we need to find rest, find "evening" in our own lives, before we can find the "morning", before we begin to be about the creative process of restoring all things back to Jesus. reconciling all things back to Jesus. maybe we first need to find rest.

this may not be huge, it may just be a shift in my thought process of how i start my day off, not with the morning, but with rest. rest in God. rest in knowing that my salvation comes from him, being Jesus. rest in God being my refuge. rest in my hope that i have in him.

so may i, may we, find rest in God. may we begin with "evening" and then "morning" can happen.

i'm tired

2009-09-15T16:55:00.003-04:00

i'm tired.

i feel like my mind is in a constant state of training for a marathon. with working at a church and having such a love for christ's bride and believing in the church, i feel like my mind never stops thinking about where the church is today compared to what jesus had in mind for the church to be. (and i have no idea what it's really supposed to look like really, i'm trying to figure that out)

and so i'm tired.

i'm tired of thinking about it. i'm tired of talking about it. i'm tired of reading about it. i'm tired of having numerous conversations about what the church should be doing and what the church is or isn't doing. i'm tired of complaining about church and hearing complaints about the church. i'm tired.

with being in student ministry, i've been wrestling a lot of the last several months over why i'm not seeing students put things into practice. some might tell me that they've changed their thought process . . . and thats great. some might say that they start to see people in a new way and a more loving way . . . thats great too.

but i want to see a change in the way they act. i want to see a change in the things they are doing. i want to see them really start to live it.

but i've become frustrated that i haven't seen that.

and what i've come to realize is that i'm frustrated in that i don't see those same things in my life either. and i think part of that, not all because there comes personal responsibility and i'm an adult so i take full responsibility, but i part of that is because i don't see that in most adults around me and so i haven't been invested in or shown the way or the ropes of how to do those things. very frustrating but as i've said, i'm tired. i'm tired of having that as my excuse. i'm ready to start changing the system and not pass those same things that were passed onto to the next generation.

so what i've come conclude is this; i'm just going to start doing. i'm going to start to do those things i want to see happen in students. i'm going to start to do those things i want to see the church start to do.

some of the things i'm beginning to work on (and i say these things in no way to boast, just to let you know where and what i'm doing) are things like mentoring students within the student ministry. and not just in a "small group" but on a 1 on 1 basis, really investing in students lives and giving of myself to the students.

i also long to see discipleship happen in the church, in my life and in student ministry. so, with the last thing, i've also asked another guy that i highly respect as a father, friend, human being and follower of jesus to mentor and invest in me as well. i think we need to have this happen more often to where we invest in each other much more on a personal level.

i've also started to work with another church/non-profit in town to really help out with an after-school program and a "homework buddy" program and invest myself in students that need love. this could open up an endless world of possibilities as to what could come from this.

i'm also getting our student small groups plugged into the community through habitat for humanity, operation love (local food bank/clothing give away), the christian center (local mens center), local elementary schools to provide school supplies and whatever else they need in some of our "inner city" schools and i'm sure many more things to come.

and all the while . . . i'm asking people to join me. when jesus was asked if he was really the messiah, his response was basically, why don't you come and see, why don't you taste for yourself and see with your own eyes. and so i'm going to ask students, friends and anyone else who wants to come, to come and see if this jesus is real, to taste and see with your own eyes.

i'm tired of simply talking about jesus.

hmmmmmm

2009-09-14T09:47:00.003-04:00

i came across this little gem this morning as i was cleaning off some files on my computer and this puppy is staying on here thats for sure . . . this was about 8 minutes before we had to go out and stand on stage for my wedding . . . the girls rushing around getting last minute make-up on or just rushing for no reason . . . we got a 1 song concert . . . this makes me smile and laugh every time i watch it . . . it never gets old.

dangerous wonder

2009-08-19T10:48:00.004-04:00

i've had this book sitting on my shelf for several years now and just never really paid much attention to it and thought, "i should probably read that."

i had finished a couple of books i had been reading and so i was looking for another one to pick up and read, but i wanted something not so heady, if you know what i mean. i didn't want something that was going to cause my brain to hurt and to where i would have to read it over 2 times to fully understand it.

i had read a book a few years ago called messy spirituality, and liked that book, so i thought i'd pick this book off the shelf called dangerous wonder. thinking, that could be a good read, a few weeks before this i had a friend mention it in passing that it was a good book so i thought, hey why not.

well what i have found is that it certainly isn't causing my brain to hurt. this book has found its way straight to my heart. it's kicking my tail with pushing, encouraging and challenging me to pursue after those passions in my heart and those dreams, because they come from someone, they've been placed there for a reason.

it talks about getting out and living this faith out, even to what most people would call "extreme", but to jesus, its just following after him. it talks about reclaiming that dangerous wonder that we all had as a kid. when you are so terrified in a situation, but are just filled with awe and excitement. shouldn't that be how following jesus is? we're so scared cause we don't know what's going to happen next or where we're going to go, but in awe of how God has taken care of us and provided for us and just filled with excitement to see what's next.

so with that, i just want to provide you with several quotes from the book. this is a definite recommendation coming from me for you to go out and read the book.

"every day i want to be in the dangerous proximity to jesus. i long for a life that explodes with meaning and is filled with adventure, wonder, risk and danger. i long for a faith that is gloriously treacherous. i want to be with jesus, not knowing whether to cry or laugh."

"the critical issue today is dullness. we have lost our astonishment. the good news is no longer good news, its okay news. christianity is no longer life changing, it is life enhancing. jesus doesn't change people into wild-eyed radicals anymore. he changes them into 'nice people.' if christianity is about being nice, i'm not interested."

"i'm ready for a christianity that 'ruins' my life, that captures my heart and makes me uncomfortable. . . i want to be 'dangerous' to a dull and boring religion."

"the greatest enemy of christianity may be people who say they believe in jesus but who are no longer astonished and amazed . . . we have forgotten how to dance, how to sing, and how to laugh. we have allowed technology to beat our imaginations into submissions and have become tourists rather than travelers. we have been stunted by mediocrity."

"most of us act as if it is more important to make a living than to live. financial security is much more valued than the insecurity of following christ . . . well-meaning christians would advise fellow christians to seek financial security. seek christ, yes, but don't be foolhardy, don't be silly, don't be childish. find a good job. you can serve god and still work for a standard of living that reflects the economic realities of today."

"our world is populated with domesticated grownups who wold rather settle for safe, predictable answers instead of wild, unpredictable mystery. faith has been reduced to a comfortable system of beliefs about god instead of an uncomfortable encounter with god."

"the church should be full of christians who seek questions rather than answers, mystery instead of solutions, wonder instead of explanations."

"the living jesus is a problem in our religious institutions. yes. because if you are having a funeral, a nice funeral, and the dead person starts to move, there goes the funeral! and, dear brothers and sisters, jesus is moving!"

"every time the disciples starting establishing rules - no children near jesus; don't let the crowd touch jesus; don't talk to samaritan women . . . jesus told them to knock if off . . . we are substituting religious rules with me! jesus kept saying 'follow me' not 'follow my rules.' so most of us have spent our christian lives learning what we can't do instead of celebrating what we can do in jesus. . . it was jesus who taught us how to break the rules. it was jesus who touched the lepers, against the rules . . . it was jesus who broke the sabbath, against the rules . . . it was jesus who forgave people of their sins, against the rules."

"the christian life is more than finding jesus - it is following jesus."

its been too long . . .

2009-05-26T16:26:00.005-04:00

yes we all know that it has been way too long since my last post. . .and i really dont have time to be blogging now, but i figured it would be a good break or a good waste of time until the hands on the clock hit that 5 mark.

so what has happened over the past month or so . . .

well i made two trips, back to back to knoxville, which was exhilarating . . .it was nice to see family and some friends the first weekend trip and just to spend some time with family that court and i both miss terribly . . . it was great to spend some time with just grandad and grandma as well . . .they drove down from ann arbor, mi . . . and then rode down with us to graduation. . .i love just sitting and listening to grandad talk and i try to retain as much as i can when he talks . . . i hope im as wise as grandad is one day.

then the next weekend was a trip with just guys, i dont really know what to call it, a spiritual retreat weekend for guys i suppose. . .but it was so nice to just relax and be away from the real world for a few days with some incredible guys. it was nice to just sit on a porch and be surrounded by the mountains, smoke the pipe, and just talk about god and life and how all of it fits together. we were also graced with the presence of an old professor of ours who came out and speak to us about jesus and what it really means to be a christian and just talk to us for a while. that night with bob felt very ancient . . . it felt like i was a part of something long ago. . . it was so refreshing to just sit at someones feet for a while and just listen, just exist, just be . . . to watch how he specifically chose every word he said . . . to be able to smell jesus that night . . . to see a glimpse of the person of jesus that night . . . so challenging and yet so refreshing.

since those two weekend trips i havent done much other than try to get ready for the summer trips . . . in the months of june and july, i am gone 4 weeks already in those two months and then in august, we'll have our family vacation and then another long weekend trip . . . getting ready for another busy summer, but it will be good.

just a short, meaningless update on my life as of right now . . . now off to go home and get ready to come back tonight.

hope you all are doing well. give me an update.

. . . spoken of things i cannot understand . . .

2009-04-23T10:56:00.003-04:00

there are few things in life that cause me to run back towards jesus and cause me to fall in love with jesus all over again than music. music is such a spiritual thing. something happens within us when we hear a song that just simply moves us. those songs that are so simple, so raw, so true and so honest.

bill is one of those guys that simply causes me to stop what im doing and listen. listen to the lyrics. the song. listen to jesus.

thank you bill. thank you for being jesus. thank you for your music. thank you for giving me permission to love jesus by the way you love him.

give him a listen. . .this is his newest song on his blog

shalom

2009-03-26T10:38:00.006-04:00

so i've been reading through the book of genesis and have been going through a commentary with it. i finally got the jps torah commentary on genesis and have been reading that and working my way through the creation story and once again, i've been reminded of how personal YHWH really is.

i've also been reading through the book of colossians and also have a commentary of sorts that i'm reading with that as well, colossians remixed: subverting the empire.

from colossians 1:2, paul starts off this letter with saying "grace and peace to you from God our Father."

now this idea of grace and peace has really been working its way through me as of lately.

i used to think of shalom (peace) as simply being the absence of something, the absence of war, the absence of some sort of evil or bad thing. with studying this idea of shalom from many people over the last several years, i've come around to see and understand that that is the wrong way to see and view shalom. shalom is so much more. shalom is the presence of God, of YHWH. shalom is not just taking the bad out of a situation, shalom is bringing the presence of God wherever we go. shalom has to do with blessing, richness, abundance and a far-reaching harmony that permeates and characterizes all of our relationships.

but before we can begin to think about bringing shalom, there must be grace given. grace must be given in all situations before shalom can ever enter.

grace is not something that we can earn, which we all know. fundamentally at its core, grace is relational. grace is something we receive as a gift from another. shalom can never be fully given until there has been grace given to us.

ezekial speaks of a "covenant of peace" twice, and they are both characterized by a renewed fruitfulness in the land. there is no longer hostility between humans and the rest of creation, drought finally gives way to showers, trees can be harvested again, the people of israel experience security again because they are at peace with their neighbors, socioeconomic oppression is replaced by liberation, the hungry are fed. ezekial 34 talks about all of this.

however, this shalom, this wholeness and well-being in all situations, all of our social, ecological, political, agricultural and economic relationships are rooted in a restored relationship with God.

ezekial 37:26-27 talks about how there can be a covenant of peace only because God promises; "i will make a covenant of peace with them; it will be an everlasting covenant. i will establish them and increase their numbers, and i will put my sanctuary among them forever. my dwelling place will be with them; i will be their god, and they will be my people."

god gave them grace, he said he would be their god and that they would be his people. god gave grace. you see, for ezekial, peace is rooted in grace. there can only be such wholeness, such creationwide shalom, ONLY if God enters our oppressive and broken reality of life and enters it with the initiative of grace.

latest . . .

2009-03-20T17:32:00.004-04:00

well here you go. .this is the lastest news around here. . .

so on monday nights, i guess i kind of open and run open gym at the church . . . so i've been doing that for about the last 8 months or so . . . it has been really good to get to know a wide range of guys and the majority of them are guys that don't come to church at all so thats my favorite part is to get to know guys that i others might not have a chance to . . .

well a little history for you with my athletic past . . . all through high school . . . our trainer at our school told me that i needed to either wear braces on my ankles or to have them taped before i played any sport, especially basketball . . . to no suprise to any of you . . . i haven't done that.

now i have rolled my ankles more times than i can count . . . so its nothing new . . . well this time was different . . . i went up to block someone and came down and landed on their foot and went down hard . . . and not only did i hurt my ankle i also cut my knee cause i went down so hard . . . as soon as i went down i knew it was bad . . . here is a picture of it for you . . .

well i finally went to the sports med doc . . . 3 weeks later . . . it was still swollen and still really sore and i couldn't put weight on it . . . so i figured i better get it checked out . . . the doc said i had a fracture in my ankle . . . but because i waited it was already starting to heal back together and that i had also seriously strained my tendon on the outside of my ankle . . . and that there was nothing really they could do at this point.

oh well . . . other than that . . . im ready for spring to get here so i can sit out on our porch and drink a beer, smoke my pipe, watch our dog run around and listen to some sam cooke with court . . . please hurry up and get here spring.

2009-02-16T11:08:00.002-05:00

these are just my random thoughts and struggles i'm facing and wrestling with . . . for several months now . . .

why is it that i feel that i could probably better live out the gospel today without what we know as the church today (the building) . . .

often times i feel like the absence of the pastor, minister, or whatever you want to call them, is more noticeable than the absence of jesus in churchers today . . .

why are we so content and okay with offering sacrifices to god that cost us nothing, me being as guilty as anyone . . . "i will not take for the lord what is yours, or sacrifice a burnt offering that costs me nothing." - king david . . .

(this is taken from the book crazy love by francis chan) . . . "when i was in high school, i seriously considered joining the marines . . . what turned me off was that in those advertisements, everyone was always running. always. and i hate running. but you know what? i didn't bother to ask if they would modify the rules for me so i could run less, and maybe also do fewer push-ups. . . somehow this realization doesn't cross over to our thinking about the christian life. jesus didn't say that if you wanted to follow him you could do it in a lukewarm manner." . . .

what is it that really holds us back from living like jesus? what is it that holds us back from giving everything up and doing what he has commanded us to do? doesn't scripture say that he will provide us with what we will need . . . something along the lines of god providing for the birds of the air, fish of the sea and the lilies of the field, how much more will he provide for his children . . .

how does living like jesus even look like today? . . .

how serious is all of this to be taken? . . .

a few sayings & quotes . . .

2009-02-02T14:24:00.002-05:00

so here are a few quotes and sayings i've read in the last month or so that i keep thinking about or keep coming up in conversations . . . i can't seem to get away from them . . .

"For many years now I have taken to going to church less and less because I find so little there of what I hunger for. It is a sense of the presence of God that I hunger for." ~ Frederick Buechner

"We want to lower the bar of how church is done and raise the bar of what it means to be a disciple. If church is simple enough that everyone can do it and is made up of people who take up their cross and follow Jesus at any cost, the result will be churches that empower the common Christin to do the uncommon works of God. . . The conventional church has become so complicated and difficult to pull off that only a rare person who is a professional can do it every week. Many people feel that to lower the bar of how church is done is close to blasphemous because the Church is Jesus' expression of the Kingdom on earth. Because church is not a once-a-week service but the people of God's family, what they have actually done is opposite of their intention. When church is so complicated, its function is taken out of the hands of the common Christian and placed in the hands of a few talented professionals. This results in a passive church whose members come and act more like spectators than empowered agents of Gods Kingdom." ~ Neil Cole

"No, I insist on paying the full price. I will not take for the LORD what is yours, or sacrifice a burnt offering that costs me nothing." ~ King David

"If you see some brother or sister in need and have the means to do something about it but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing, what happens to God's love? It disappears. And you made it disappear." ~ 1 John 3:17 (The Message)

we really only have one thing.

2009-01-15T15:13:00.003-05:00

So with some of the situations that I find myself in as of the last few weeks, situations that are dealing with others and the struggles of life they are facing. I have come to see and realize many things, one being how much I love my wife and how in love I am with her. Knowing that she will always fight for us is such a comfort and such an encouragement.

But also with being in all of these situations, I've also realized that what we call the "Church" today and the "Christian faith" is really about how well we as Christians can hide our sin. Now realize I'm as guilty as anyone and I'm working on changing this, but we all do this, we all try to measure the depth of our spirituality by how little we are sinning or at least try to convince others and ourselves how little we are sinning. See the problem with this is that it causes us to live in fear, in fear that others will find out.

Derek Webb says that "the best thing is that your sin would be exposed on the 5 o'clock news." We become so tired and drained from trying to hide our sin from everyone else. You see if we, being you and me, and you and me being the people that we truly are at the core of our being, not this person that we try to get everyone to see and believe who we are, but the person that we are when its just us, all the doubts, scars, bruises and all the junk in our lives, that person. If we had our sins exposed like that, and you saw the real me or the real you, so that you could know me for who I really am, that way I didn't have the option to hide anymore, so that Jesus was really the only person and thing that I could grab hold of and hold onto.

And that's really all we have anyway.

Jesus knows our sins, as if they have been on the news, he knows you and I better than we know ourselves and he forgives us. We should take an immense amount of joy in this, in the fact that our sins are real and that our Savior is real.

You see by the time I probably finish this blog or by the time you read this, and if not by then, it will definitely happen by the time you fall asleep tonight, we will be thinking of ways to try to hide our sin from other people.

The Christian life is not about living like this. We must come to grips about who we really are and be willing to admit and confess such things before each other.

And once we admit these things and confess our struggles and then even more than that confess that they are real and even bigger than that, confess that our Savior is real. We then begin to give others around us permission to admit the junk in their life, to admit their struggles, to admit the realness of this life, to admit the realness of needing a real Savior.

Maybe we just need to start preaching and living out the Gospel and words of Jesus in a way in which we believe it. In a way that gives others around us permission to believe in it too.

"No wonder, statistically, our church is losing relevance by the day. it's no wonder we are so stagnant, we don't believe the Gospel. It has not failed us, we have just failed to believe it." - Derek Webb

. . . the almost . . .

2009-01-10T12:07:00.002-05:00

its the beautiful things that get us. perhaps the greatest seduction is not the ANTI-GOD, but the ALMOST*GOD. poisonous fruit can look pretty tasty. thats what is so dangerous about ideas like FREEDOM, PEACE AND JUSTICE. they are all seductive qualities, close to the heart of GOD. after all, its the beautiful things we kill and die for. and its the beautiful we market, exploit, brand and counterfeit.

WE FIND OURSELVES POSSESSED BY OUR POSSESSIONS . . .
and enslaved by the pursuit of freedom. nations fighting for peace end up perpetuating the very violence they seek to destroy. serpents are slippery and slimy things.

MOST of the ugliness in the human narrative comes from a distorted quest to possess beauty. COVETING begins with appreciating blessings. MURDER begins with a hunger for justice. LUST begins with a recognition of beauty. GLUTTONY begins when our enjoyment of the delectable gifts of GOD starts to consume us. IDOLATRY begins when our seeing a reflection of God in something beautiful leads to our thinking that the beautiful image bearer is worthy of WORSHIP.

Top 5

2009-01-07T16:24:00.004-05:00

So I've been hounded by a few people to give my top albums of 2008 and I realize that it is a little late, but that's ok, we're just 7 days into 2009 so here are my favorite albums that were released in 2008.

5 - Seeing Things - Jakob Dylan (I didn't like it the first time I listened to it, so I gave it a few more listens and now I have a hard time shutting it off and it ended up on my top 5)

4 - Fall/Winter and Spring/Summer EP's - Jon Foreman (I know those are 4 different albums in and of themselves, but they are too hard to pull apart for me and since I just did a top 5, they will have to work so get over it.)

3 - Thing of the Past - Vetiver (The title fits the music that follows when you open and place the CD in and listen. Just like a good beer, Thing of the Past is smooth and golden.)

2 - Pink & Blue - Waterdeep (If you don't know this band, shame on you. They always surprise me with a new sounding album and this one is no different. With a mix of thought provoking, trippy and melodic, upbeat, intriguing and spiritually cognitive. Give it a listen)

1 - Viva la Vida - Coldplay (Just when you think you have them figured out, you realize you don't.)

So there you have it. . .I was going to try to do a top ten but I had trouble finding albums that I liked that much to go there, so you are stuck with 5, sorry. I will give an honorable mention, Simple Times by Joshua Radin and Gossip in the Grain by Ray LaMontagne, but I just couldn't put them on the list, but thought they should be mentioned at least.

It's Christmas Time . . .

2008-12-23T09:17:00.004-05:00

Christmas time is a time of year that I've come to really enjoy . . . and hate at the same time. I can remember as a kid and even as a college student loving Christmas, because that meant, as a kid, that I would get all kinds of gifts and as a student, that meant we got a break from school. It was a time to hang out with friends, spend time doing nothing, sleeping a lot and getting new gifts.

Well now that I'm not a kid anymore or one that attends classes anymore, on one hand, I'm ready for this season to be over. Is that okay to so say?

More than ever, this year I've truly been able to focus more on the true meaning of Christmas than I have in years past, but I hate what Christmas has become, and I think I hate it more now, because my focus has shifted, but I can't seem to get away from my old thinking because its all around me and it easily sucks me back into that mindset.

But I have learned one thing from this shift in thinking this Christmas. I have been able to read through the Gospels and the birth and life of Jesus with new eyes. I've been able to pick up things that in the past I have so easily past over. Through conversations and reading of his blog, a good friend here in town has really caused me to see the story of Jesus' birth different and I would love to share.

The statement Mary makes to the angel Gabriel, "May it be to me as you have said", could be one of the most moving statements I've read and thought about in a while. A statement of humility, of sacrifice and of surrender.

Then give or take a few years, 30 years later, we find her son, with the weight of the world on him, the torture he's endured, the pain, the fear, the isolation he feels; we find him making a similar statement, "Not my will, but yours be done."

Now I normally think, well yes of course Jesus would say that, he's the son of God. He's Jesus. But my friend Matt proposes the question that maybe it's not that simple. Maybe, Jesus was able to say that because his mother once said something like that many years ago. Maybe Jesus grew up hearing the story of his birth and of his mother making humble statements like that, surrendering her will, her life to her Heavenly Father. Did Jesus learn to give up his will because that is how he was raised?

And this is what Matt suggests, "When Mary gave herself, her future, her life’s trajectory over to an overwhelming, scary promise of God, she didn’t just set herself up for something. Instead, she gave permission to those around her, to those watching that they could do the same. She’s still giving me permission today."

Such a beautiful statement. Mary is still giving us permission today that we can give ourselves to something bigger, to this God that we so often talk about. She is showing us and challenging us to not just talk about Him, but to believe in Him, trust in Him, give everything to Him.

It's when we give ourselves to something bigger, that we give those around us permission to believe that they can do it too.

A.W. Tozer thoughts

2008-11-08T10:09:00.003-05:00

“No man is better for knowing that God so loved the world of men that He gave His only begotten Son to die for their redemption. In hell there are millions who know that. Theological truth is useless unless it is obeyed. The purpose behind all doctrine is to secure moral action."

“Bible exposition without moral application raises no opposition….As long as people can hear orthodox truth divorced from life they will attend and support churches without objection….Much that passes for New Testament Christianity is little more than objective truth sweetened with song and made palatable by religious entertainment.”

Taken from The Best of A.W. Tozer. Your thoughts, if any?

The leaves are falling

2008-10-15T09:29:00.002-04:00

Well yesterday after I got home from work, I started up the lawn mower that our land lord was gracious enough to leave for us to use. Started out for the first mow of the Fall season. Now if you've seen pictures of our house on Courtney's Facebook page, you'll notice that we have a nice size yard, with lots of mature tree's, which means lots of leaves.

I don't mind it so much however, I spent about an hour and a half or so mowing and picking up leaves. After I had mowed the yard and blown the leaves into a huge pile in the middle of the back yard and front yard, I grabbed some trash bags and headed back out to pick the leaves up.

This reminded me so much of my childhood that I just kind of smiled the whole time I was out working. Some of the best memories I have from my childhood are from the Fall season, running through the leaves, raking leaves with my dad, laying in big piles of leaves, playing football in the yard and hearing the leaves under your feet, diving into the pile of leaves for a touchdown.

I couldn't help but smile and think about when even more leaves pile on the ground and I rake them all up and take our dog Marley out and hide and play in the big pile of leaves.

For some reason, everything is better in the Fall.

That first weekend . . .

2008-09-09T14:57:00.005-04:00

With the weather around here is starting to feel a little like Fall already, even though I know it probably won't last but for a few days, I can't help but already start to get in my Fall season of music.

When I come to the Fall season of music, my music makes a turn for the more relaxed, chilled style of music, even though most of my music would fall into that category, there is a clear difference.

Suddenly my intake of Ryan Adams, James Taylor, Iron & Wine, Bob Dylan, Damien Rice, Norah Jones, Martin Sexton, Ray LaMontagne and the likes of these musicians.

I can't help but think about the times when this music played such an important role and had such an influence on me. When I listen to certain songs or musicians I think of the long talks that Taylor and I would have on UT campus and enjoying the finer things in life as we sat on picnic tables or wondered around. The many dates we had with the Gooche's, the days spent on the disc golf course with Bill or on his porch once again enjoying the finer things of life. Or all the time spent downtown, at the Brewery or in the markert. Or to think about the time that was spent out on the curb at JBC, throwing the frisbee with Vaka or the trips to the mountains or the trip the guys took to Jake's house for the weekend. Some of the best memories I have.

I can't help but think of Virginia when Fall comes around. Virginia has made its mark on me. When I listen to James Taylor I think of my family in Virginia. You hear stories about how some people are glad they live far away from their in-laws. I however am the exception I suppose. I miss them. I miss getting a knock on our day and its them asking what we're having for dinner or just going over to their house and hanging out all night doing nothing really, but just being there with family. The trips we would take, even if its just across town. And by family, I don't mean just my in-laws, that includes the Maynard's, Lumia's, all of Sarah's friends, all of Ashley's friends, the Browns, Rogers, and many more of you that I'm sure I failed to mention. I miss you and its like an ache that just doesn't seem to go away at times.

When I think of family and when I think of Virginia, I think of Montebello. You have forever marked my soul. The beauty that is there, the beauty of the scenery that you find there, the beauty of the family that is there, the beauty of the conversations that take place there, the beauty of relationships that start there and that deepen there, the beauty of the solace you find there, there is so much beauty that at times it overwhelms me to even think about it, let alone see it all with my own eyes and be a part of it all.

So here's to Montebello and to the first weekend in October. I will make it back to you, but not soon enough.

Just Around The Corner . . .

2008-09-02T08:54:00.004-04:00

So this past weekend, I spent the whole weekend with just our dog Marley. Courtney went to Port Hope, MI to see her family, with my job being one to where I work on Sunday's, I unfortunately was unable to go. So Marley and I just hung out and spent a lot of time together. We went on some drives together and she just sat in the passenger seat and stared at me, I think she enjoyed the time we spent together.

Yesterday however, I finally got a chance and went out and played golf with some friends. I actually shot pretty good, I was 6 over for 18, I shot a 77, which I was very pleased with.

While I was out on the course, there were numerous times my ball seemed to find the trees, so I had to go searching through a small forest to find my ball. I couldn't help but think of my high school days when I was out there on the course, whether in the small forest or waiting to hit the ball. All the time I spent on golf courses in high school, it brought back some memories.

I think the best memory was when I would be walking and underneath my feet I could hear the crackling noise of the leaves, it's already happening.

I could see myself walking down the golf course back in high school and it being cold enough to wear pants and a long sleeve shirt. Just me out there playing a few holes before dusk would settle. I loved going out and just being out there and just thinking and listening to the sound of the season. Yesterday, I was able to have a glimpse of what is just around the corner.

I was reminded that the Fall season is just around the corner and I couldn't help but smile and get excited.

PS - Congrats Bill and Betsy, I can't wait to meet him. :)

A few pics that I've taken . . .

2008-08-29T09:37:00.006-04:00

I find myself missing my friends more and more. I had a good friend call me the other night and inform me of another good friend of ours having their first child. Exciting times and I can't wait until our next reunion.

Is this it?

2008-08-23T10:44:00.002-04:00

Just a few quotes from the book Jim and Casper Go To Church. What are you thoughts and what do we do?

"Casper had a number of questions for me before, during and after each church we visited. But the one question that was far and away the most difficult for me to hear was this one: 'Jim, is that what Jesus told you guys to do?'"

"Casper could not imagine Jesus telling his followers that the most important thing they should be doing is holding church services."

"Unless we're willing to remove the handles from the front doors of our churches and publicly say to outsiders, 'We don't care what you think,' the church must become more reflective and repentant about how outsiders perceive us.

As long as pastors continue to promote 'bring a friend to church Sunday' and as long as we put 'Everybody Welcome' on our church sign, we are the ones who need to change - not our guests.

Jesus gave us a mission. I don't remember reading anything in the Bible written to missing people telling them to 'go into all the church.' They don't have a mission to adjust to us; we have to adapt for them. It's called the Incarnation."

Your thoughts?

8-18-08

2008-08-18T11:05:00.002-04:00

I'm hoping that life will get back into somewhat of a routine with school starting for the students and summer being over. I hope that it will get in a routine to where it allows me to read more and to meet with other people more and to write more.

I met with a guy named Matt Conner, who is a local pastor here in the area and also does a lot of writing for several different websites and magazines as well and you can visit his website by clicking on his name. But I met with him and was excited to meet with him and just get to know him. I'm excited to continue to get to know him and just love meeting new people and getting to know people.

So with that said, I'm just excited to continue to get to know people both at Bethany (the church I work at) and outside of that as well.

I was doing almost my daily reading of the Rabbit Room which is an awesome website, and one that Matt writes for as well, but I check it daily and came across a few comments given by one of the writers that I'll leave you with.

~The deeper we go into our union with Christ, the more He manifests Himself in our lives. And we develop more and more a sense of responsibility about sin, and less and less of a sense of condemnation about it.~

~Holiness is a Person, and only one Person in the universe is that holiness - and He has given Himself to us to use as living Bread.~

2008-08-04T09:17:00.004-04:00

Here are a few pics of Marley, our new dog.

So lots of new things happening in these parts of town. Moved into a new house, still renting but a bit bigger and a big back yard, which we love. However, will probably be a pain in the butt when fall comes around and we have a ridiculous amount of leaves in our yard, but it's worth it.

We also got a new dog. We were able to get a chocolate lab for free, so we couldn't pass it up. She is a great puppy so far and super cute.

For those of you that care, I tried to post the video of Courtney and I dancing from a few months ago when we did parts of the Napolean Dynamite dance, but I couldn't get it up and running, so I'll try it again and see what happens.

Cars suck.

2008-05-22T16:07:00.002-04:00

Cars suck. Thats really all I have to say. Having to replace more on my car and it sucks. I'm going to trade in my car soon. . .I'm thinking about getting a horse.

that old radio

2008-05-06T21:00:00.002-04:00

I was sitting out on our deck the other night. It was the perfect night. Beautiful, clear sky, a little chilly, but not too bad. I was in a chair next to my wife, she was sitting there with her hair just right, drinking a glass of red wine, just sitting there looking beautiful, not saying anything. I was drinking a beer and smoking my pipe. We were just sitting there, had our tiki torches lit, Norah Jones on the cd player. It was perfect. I can't wait to just grow old and can't wait for all the nights my wife and I will sit on the back deck and drink some wine, smoke a pipe and listen to good music.

It also caused me to miss those nights where a good friend and I would sit on his deck, smoke our pipes, play yahtzee or dominoes or just sit and have a conversation that I would soak up like a sponge. I couldn't get enough of those conversations, even though we didn't do it as much as I would have liked. But I miss those and hope those will happen one day, maybe with our kids running crazy, us on the back deck with our wives and our pipes.

"I want an old radio, everything else can go and on summer nights, we can dance together slow"

2008-05-05T10:33:00.005-04:00

The Dogwood Festival a few weeks ago was bittersweet. I loved being in Knoxville, that place feels more like home than any other place. I loved being with some of my closest friends and spending the whole time we we're there with them, I miss them terribly. It was so nice to ride bikes around Knoxville and reminisce and remember Knoxville, the place I learned how to be me. Knoxville is where our moods suddenly change, we feel home, you get that feeling like a little girl does when her daddy is pulling in the drive-way from work, where she's so excited and runs out to give him a big hug before he can get the car door shut. Thats how I felt when I was driving over Jelico Mountain and I began to sense the feeling that someone was coming home and I was excited. So I waited by the door to see the car pull in the drive-way. And when I got to Henley Street exit, I felt home.

But yet I knew I had to get back to Anderson, which doesn't sound that enticing and that exciting. But last night I had a conversation that I had been needing. After our Sunday night youth service, I stayed and talked to a few students that wanted more, they wanted to read more, study more, but they weren't just saying that, they genuinely wanted to make it happen. Which was encouraging and beautiful.

So here's to you Knoxville, Tennessee. Don't go anywhere and don't change too much, for when we make it back down there, either for a visit or maybe for good,either way we'll be coming home.

What am I doing?

2008-04-25T12:21:00.004-04:00

So now that I have been at the church for over 2 months, I think the honeymoon stage is over.

Every few years, probably 5 or 6 years, the church does this evening event called Friday Night Live. Yes just like Saturday Night Live, but they add their own little twists to certain acts. For example, this year they have Pep Talks with Harold. Just like the priceless pep talks with Peyton Manning, except its with Harold, who happens to be an 83 year old man that is about as big as my thigh, seriously, no seriously he is. A twist on Dancing with the Stars is also happening and different things like that.

Well they have roped me into doing a few acts. And for most of you who read this, you know I like to have a good time and have fun. Well getting on stage and dancing and lip singing is a whole 'nother deal for me. Well here are my two acts that my wife and I are doing this year. For those of you who are Spinal Tap fans, there is a movie called A Mighty Wind which is made by those same guys. In it their is a group called the Main Street Singers, well Court and I and all the staff and their wives are all in it and we make up the main street singers, in our cheesy outfits and our cheesy smiles. It's very interesting. Check this out for a video from the movie.

My second and last performance for the night will be a little dance number. Our senior minister here, Bob, was asked to dance the Napolean Dynamite dance. Well he didn't want to have to do it by himself so they roped myself and Court to dance as Pedro and Deb with him. So I am wearing my old man jeans, my cowboy shirt, and belt buckle and my fake mustache and Court is wearing her 80's gear for the dance that we have composed.

This will be a very very interesting night for myself and everyone watching, to see me on stage, dancing and lip singing.

I guess this could be kind of fun. If I get any video from it, I will post it for all of you to laugh at me and make fun of me.

. . .oh the joy's. . .

2008-04-05T21:20:00.004-04:00

So in the past two weeks, this has been our situation. Replacing Courtney's windshield, dealing with taxes and not understanding any of it, getting my oxygen sensor replaced in my car and then we just found out that the back two coil springs on my car are cracked and need to be replaced ASAP . . .totaling to at least $2,400 in the past two weeks. Boy life is fantastic. The perks of growing up I suppose.

But if thats the worst that can happen to us right now, we're living a pretty good life. So I guess I can't complain to much, but it sucks a little right now, but we'll make it through.

The weekend to Knoxville is needed more than ever now after this week or so. I can't wait to head down that way and just relax and see good friends and be in back in a town we absolutely love.

Viva La Knoxville!

2 years ago today . . .

2008-04-02T09:09:00.005-04:00

Two years ago today I asked my girlfriend at the time(now my wife) to go out on a date with me. Playing it up as if it was just another date to where we would probably just go to Starbucks and hang out and talk and then maybe go to McKays or walk around Worlds Fair Park, thats usually what most of our dates consisted of, three of our favorite places to go.

Little did she know that I had an engagement ring in the car at the same time in the same car we were driving in to go to the same places we had always gone. So this is how it all played out . . .

We arrived at Starbucks, got our normal drinks that we always got, went and sat on some comfy chairs and just hung out. Well, it began to storm, and storm reeeally hard, so hard that the power went out and we were hanging out talking in the Starbucks with the floodlights on and thats all that was on in the whole store. So this isn't really working out like I had it all mapped out in my head. Well we look outside only to see chairs floating down the street because there was so much rain and wind. Not really playing out at all like I had thought. So we hung out there a little bit more, then it finally died down and began to sprinkle only a little. So I asked her if she wanted to go walk around Worlds Fair Park, which caught her off guard because I'm usually not the type of person that wants to just go walk around in the rain for fun. But I convinced her to and so we did. While she ran to the bathroom in Starbucks, I ran to my car and popped the trunk and put on a light jacket that had the ring in the pocket. So it was starting to pull together.

Well with all the rain, it ran everyone out of the park except for one homeless man we saw, so that ended up being alright. We walked around and just talked. I had my phone on vibrate and had set the alarm to go off 9:11 pm. She always looked at the clock at that time and she never knew why. Well I actually had it set for 9:10 so I knew to ask her a question when it went off. When I felt my phone vibrating I asked her when she needed to get back because she was supposed to hang out with a few friends that night and she said whenever we got back. Well by that time, I looked at my clock and was like . . ."Oh, guess what time it is?" and of course it was 9:11 and I asked her why she thought she always looked at the clock at that time and she gave me a few reasons. I suggested that maybe she looked at the clock at 9:11 because she knew big things happened at that time. Which is when I proceeded to pull out the ring and propose to her on a few steps right next to the water in worlds fair park.

Hmmm. . .Thats Good

2008-03-26T10:07:00.007-04:00

I was reminded of this video the other day and thought I would post this little nugget of pure joy for you. This was about 8 minutes before we had to walk out to stand on stage for my wedding. While the ladies are freaking out, the guys were listening to a little love song by John & Dave. (aka Bill & Taylor)

Change of scenery

2008-03-18T15:11:00.004-04:00

So I finally got out this year on the trail. My first time riding Indiana trails and I think it was a bad idea to try yesterday. My brother was in town for his spring break/easter weekend and he had just got a new mountain bike and I haven't had a chance to get out and go biking since we've moved up here. So I thought, hmmmmm, perfect time to get out, hang out with Ben and to try out my new clipless pedals (which I don't know why they call them clipless, cause they have clips).

Well the pedal idea worked great. I felt a little more comfortable riding with them then I did the last time. It was nice to get out and actually ride my bike on a trail.

But boy oh boy was it a mistake to pick that day. It was about 40 degrees and the wind was howling around and the air was freezing. I'm not sure my lungs have felt that bad since I was a baby and had fluids in my lungs and had to sit in a pumpkin seat my first few weeks of life (I don't remember that, but its just a guess, my lungs reeeeally hurt).

Needless to say, through the pain of breathing for the next 3 hours, I enjoyed getting out and riding with Ben and spending some time with him. I don't usually get to spend much time with him so it was nice.

ps - no jacob my color change of my blog is not due to st. patty's day, just a change of scenery.

Naked anyone?

2008-03-03T09:59:00.003-05:00

This could be my favorite album right now. This is the Beatles Let It Be album, but its titled, Let It Be . . . Naked, because it is closer to the original artistic vision that they had to get back to rock and roll. Their producer, Phil Spector, added orchestra overdubs and embellishments to the originally released Let It Be album, but most of the band didn't like it.

You should by this album, or have your good friend Kenny send you a copy of it, either one works, either way, you should listen. I can't stop listening to this album or any of the Beatles album right now. It's real good.

I also have this fixation on the 50's and 60's pop music right now. The two artists that I can't stop listening to besides The Beatles right now are Sam Cooke and Dion & The Belmonts. Sam Cooke is AMAZING and I love just sitting in my office and relaxing to Sam.

Three artist you should listen too if you don't already now. Sam Cooke, Dion & The Belmonts & The Beatles (especially the Let It Be . . . Naked album.)

Also, just a side note, I think I'm officially a Student Minister now, I had my first Youth Coach meeting and I had my first complaint.

. . .raise your hopeful voice. . .

2008-02-27T09:04:00.004-05:00

I was so glad to see Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova win the Oscar for Best Song, I was so excited that I actually clapped my hands emphatically when they announced they're victory, I might have thrown in an arm pump as well, not sure, I can't remember, so I probably did.

If you haven't seen the move Once, you should. I really really liked this movie, this movie was up there as one of my favorites, not just for this year either. I think I just really liked it because it was such a simple movie, nothing big and showy, just simple. And the music is great, I can't stop listening to the soundtrack.

You need to see it. The End.

2008-02-22T09:18:00.002-05:00

Man I miss those days. . .I think often about those days and think of how I have the best crew of friends. . and I miss them. . .

So Im helping teach a bible study on Wednesday nights for our high school group. . .and were going through the book of Romans. . .and this last week we went through chapter 5, which is a heady chapter, which could be said about most of the book. . .but in verses 18 & 19, he talks about justification. . .and I was reading a commentary on this and I found it to be intriguing and thought Id share. . .

"Christ's sacrifice on the Cross not only made possible "justification," but also "justification of life." Justification is not merely a legal term that describes our position before God; but it results in a certain kind of life. . . In other words, our justification is the result of a living union with Christ. And this union ought to result in a new kind of life, a righteous life of obedience to God."

I'll tell you why I like this. . .in my short 25 years of living and growing up in the church, we have this pandemic in our churches. . .which is not a new one and most leaders of the church recognize it. . but these few verses call us to have responsibility. . .there has been very little responsibility and even expectations for us from the church to have been reading and studying and wrestling through scripture. . .but this verse tells me. . .yes you have now changed with entering into a relationship with Christ, and since you have, there is an expectation of you living in this union with Him, a responsibility on you to live in this union and to have this life transformation happen.

I just like it because it tells us that there are expectations given to us as disciples of Christ and we have this responsibility placed on us. . .if we dont put effort into our marriage, it will fail.

New beginning

2008-02-13T19:12:00.003-05:00

So here is to a new start. . .we finally got up to Anderson, IN and this has been my first week working at Bethany Christian Church as the new Student Minister. I know I just started so its to be expected. . .but I still feel like a fish out of the water a little bit, with not knowing exactly what Im doing or where Im supposed to be, but thats ok, that will come with time Im told.

So with this new beginning and new job, I am also hoping that this will allow me to be able to blog more than in the past, which has been little to none. So for the 3 of you that might check this periodically, maybe you'll have something new to read every now and again.

Im also excited about hopefully the time that I will have to read, since that is part of my job now, learning new things and ideas and approaches, so Im excited about my to read list. . .here are a few that are on that list right now, I have way to many, but a few for you that are towards the top of the list. . .

Simple Church by Thom Rainer. . .
Son of Laughter by Frederick Buechner. . .
The be with factor by Bo Boshers. . .
Contemplative Youth Ministry by Mark Yaconelli. . .
Everything Must Change by Brian McLaren. . .
The Idea of a Christian Society by T.S. Elliot. . .

and many more. . but that will do. . .Im also finishing up Jim and Casper Go To Church which has been a real easy read and an interesting little book.

-Tim

Which is it?

2007-11-10T11:45:00.000-05:00

I was reading an article the today on the church and
where it stands today and making some interesting
comparisons to the Old Testament. The author was
writing about the Old Testament characters of Abraham,
Isaac and Jacob. About how they had no church
affiliation, no denomination, no records of attending
a church, no pattern of what we would consider
worship, tithing, etc. Now I do think its an
interesting point, but times are different and I'm not
saying that we shouldn't strive to be more like that
and be know like Abraham was simply as a "Man who
knows God." I think we should strive for that
simplicity in our faith, not as someone who worships
this way or goes to this church or a part of this
denomination, but simply as a people who know God.

Now when we look at the life of someone like Abraham
and people of his time, it almost seems like about the
only way to know God was through a personal, real
experience with God. It seems to me that their
relationship with God was one that was real, honest,
open and simply raw. They didn't base their
relationship and knowledge of God upon what someone
had told them or what they read, but rather through
who they knew God to be through personal experience.

I find this interesting to how I often base my
relationship with God on and how if I honestly look at
the church today, how they base their relationship and
knowledge of God off of. We are told almost every
Sunday three points on how to live this week and then
go out that week and then check off that we did those
and move on to the next three steps to conquer. There
often is no actual personal experience of God
happening.

We have everything "Christian" today that we could
think of. There are "Christian" t-shirts, bookstores,
schools, conferences and just about anything else you
can think of. We have created sub-culture and copied
everything else the "world" is doing, but just tag the
word "Christian" on them to make ourselves feel better
about them.

But many "Christians" today abuse, divorce, get drunk,
lie, steal, cheat, live gluttonously, hate, etc, just
as much as the rest of the "world" does.

So maybe we have simply just accepted God on an
intellectual level and nothing more. There is no
life-transforming action being taken place. The
author of the article says that maybe we have
"accepted all the cultural Christian trinkets without
accepting Christ, replacing the reality of a blessed
Jesus connecting us to God with just another religious
patter of how to look clean while remaining sick and
filthy".

Pretty deep and cutting words, but possibly true.
There is no transformation happening, we simply accept
on an intellectual level, but not enough to challenge
and change how we live. We have no personal
experience to pull from.

Going back to the life of Abraham, simply living as a
man who knew God and allowing that to effect and
factor into his daily thoughts and activities. Maybe
we (and I mean myself) have got caught up in making
sure we dress the right way, say the right words, know
the right things, act a certain way, that we have
forgotten or disregarded the simplicity of just living
with God. Maybe we can't find God in the midst of our religion.

Update

2007-09-21T16:12:00.000-04:00

So its been a long time since Ive updated and its been super busy as well. Just to give you a little bit of an idea of whats been going on and whats to come . . .

Well I started a new job. Im working for one of the city's Parks and Recreation department around here, the city of Hampton actually. Its an interesting job to say the least. I actually dont really do anything for the parks or recreation department. Really what I do is I mow, weedeat, and landscape most of the city. I work with some interesting people, but for the most part most of them are pretty cool. So Im trying to figure out and balance everything with work and get into a routine of life I suppose, if you can do that.

Ive also been getting involved with church stuff here. Ive been asked to try to lead up and head up a college age ministry, but its going really slow because it just takes so much time and energy to try to start up a new ministry, especially college age because everything is so relational and most college students are at least a bit skeptical about everything, especially a ministry and a church. So needless to say its moving slow.

Im also unofficially leading a young adult small group. Court and I started going to the small group and there was a leader, but not really. They all wanted something deeper, but no one wanted to step up and lead or felt like they could. So being a "bible college graduate", everyone assumes you know the Bible better than they do, which is far from the truth, at least with me, but Im willing to lead and step up. And it gives me a chance to lead and challenge myself and others as well, so thus far its actually been really good, for both the group and myself.

Court and I also are going to start teaching another bible study, for high school students. A lot of Court's sister Sarah's friends are very interested in going deeper, but arent being challenged at church or in the small groups they offer. So Court and I decided to offer a bible study for those willing to go deeper or wanted to go deeper. Im actually really looking forward to teaching this because these students are willing to learn and go deeper and you cant ask for anything more than that in a disciple of Christ. So this study will be fun and very challenging for them and Court and I as well hopefully.

I also go asked the other day to help teach an all guys small group of 7th, 8th and 9th grade guys. They are going to be going through Every Young Mans Battle. So this could be very very interesting with these guys, but Im actually looking forward to this as well. Im teaching these guys with my father-in-law, so this could end up being really cool.

So my week seems to be planned and scheduled for me, but thats ok, its going to be good to teach and to be challenged again.

. . . . .

Im also very excited for October to get here.

Every weekend in October is booked, 1st weekend - Montebello, 2nd weekend - Trip to go see Kenny, Nicole and Ella (CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THEM!), 3rd weekend - camping with friends again, 4th weekend - Trip to Knoxville to see Old Crow Medicine Show and to see Ktown and friends.

Im super excited for all those weekends, cant wait to go camp at Montebello with everyone again and just to be up there and take a break from everything, cant wait to see The Gooches, it will be soooo good to see them, but it will make us want to move there and be close to them, and the trip to Knoxville, gosh I cant wait for that either, to finally see Old Crow, with Bill of course, then play disc golf on saturday morning like old times with some good friends, and hang out with the Wolfs, Taylor and my brother and see Ktown.

October will be great.

2007-08-28T11:39:00.000-04:00

So Im ready for fall. Im coming to the realization that I might be a polar bear or something cold natured. But fall will be a different one this year for me. Every fall Ive been somewhere where you experience all four seasons pretty distinctly, but Im not sure that will be the case here with the winter season. Im going to miss Knoxville's fall to be honest, not so much because its beautiful there, and it is, but I think more because of the things I associate with fall now are downtown Knoxville, disc golf with Bill, Worlds Fair Park, starbucks with friends, UT football games, dates to McKays (which I miss greatly) and just about anything else Knoxville.

But Im looking forward to this new transition of our life. Court and I can experience fall in a new light, from a new spectrum.

So I was just sitting around last night with Court and we were talking and I began to think about Crossings, which is a church plant we used to help out with in Knoxville. I miss that family but I got to thinking about the people that I missed there and I thought of what Rich Mullins said, "When I go to church,. . .I involve myself in something that identifies me with Augustine, that identifies me with Christ, that identifies me with nearly 2000 years of people who have come together once a week and said, 'Lets go to the Lord's table and enjoy the feast that He has prepared for us."

I get to worship every week with Crossings, not physically there, but we still worship the same God, so in that light, I do worship with you guys. When we take communion, when we sing praises, when we heard the Word being preached, we involve ourselves in something bigger than ourselves, we involve ourselves in bigger purposes, together, something that happened long before we were here and will continue to happen long after we're gone, the worship, purpose and praise of God. We together get to go to the "Lord's table and enjoy the feast that He has prepared." Wherever we are, we do that and it identifies with each other, for bigger purposes.

Its crazy when you step back and see the bigger picture and see that as C.S. Lewis said, "The Church exists for nothing else but to draw men into Christ, to make them little Christs. If they are not doing that, all the cathedrals, clergy, missions, sermons, even the Bible itself, are simply a waste of time. God became Man for no other purpose. It is even doubtful, you know, whether the whole universe was created for any other purpose."

We as human beings are to draw man into Christ.

2007-08-21T15:04:00.000-04:00

I’m amazed by life
And it’s amazed by me
We’re a strange old pair- me and eternity
It don’t make good sense
It ain’t easy to see
But I’m amazed by life
And it’s amazed by me

It’s a long hard road
With a good, good end
And if I keep on walking on past the crooked bend
I will meet my Maker
I will meet my Friend
It’s a long hard road
With a good, good end

2007-08-16T09:51:00.001-04:00

(disclaimer - this post is more directed to myself than anyone)

So I was reading a friend's blog and he mentions two words that are very popular right now among the young church movement, attractional and missional. I like what he says about how he believes that we place to much value on these two words. I fear that these two words and in particular, missional since its kind of the "new" movement of church or at least its the one thats being talked about a lot right now, is going to be just another trend, something people do that is simply just "different" for being different's sake and not for believing its truly transforming. And I'll be the first to admit that Ive been caught up in the phrase game and saying the word missional cause it sounds cool and because its kind of "cutting edge" or whatever you want to call it. However I fear that thats all these words meant to me and thats all these words mean to many among our generation, is that its the next "cool" thing to say or do among church.

I was at a little get together last night for a group of people that just got back from Mexico City to help out the local churches. And as a gentleman was speaking about the trip, he said that as physically uncomfortable as it was, the spiritual rewards far out-weighed that and that he was ready to go back tomorrow.

Now I dont have a problem with him or anyone for that matter saying that and in fact Im probably guilty of saying the same thing many times, but the thing that gets me is that he and myself and whoever else says it usually, wont go back to being in that "uncomfortable" state of mind and physical discomfort for at least another year or so or whenever the next "mission trip" is and will come back and say the say things again, that "Im ready to go back tomorrow." If we truly mean that we'd go back tomorrow, then why are we waiting around chasing after this "American Dream" and going on these trips once a year and challenging ourselves once a year and getting out of our comfort zone once a year. I dont believe we need to go out of the county for this physical discomfort and spiritual rewarding feeling, just look around our communities, why do we feel like we have to go out of the country for this feeling?

Getting to my point about this blog is that in both of these little paragraphs, I believe the same thing is happening, we're just simply talking about these things, simply talking about doing these things. We entertain the thought of doing these things but we never take it serious enough to actually implement these ideas into our lifestyle. We (including myself) make up all kinds of excuses of how they dont fit in with our current lifestyle or way of living. Well maybe its time for you and myself especially to look into changing our lifestyle and way of living so the things that really matter to Jesus start to matter to us as well. That we stop trying to fit Jesus into our way of living to make us feel safe and warm inside, but that we start loving people unconditionally and start giving more, not necessarily of money, but maybe more of our time and energy to things that really matter.

I see people(including myself) who talk about change and want change and want to help and make a difference and I see people talking about being missional and talk about making sacrifices, but I rarely see people who actually do these things.

. . .Green. . .

2007-08-09T23:06:00.000-04:00

So it has become almost a nightly thing for me to lay in bed and read at night before I go to bed. Its a good time for me to do that, it seems to be hard for me to find time to really sit down and just read, Ive wanted to find time, and this seems to be best, when Court is just about to fall asleep or already asleep and the rest of the world around me seems to be sleeping except for the candle I usually have lit by the bed. So as I was reading the other night, I asked Court if she wanted to start a spiritual discipline with me and try to memorize scripture together. But I dont want this to just be, the kind where you just memorize it for memorizing sake, I really want to try to take it to heart what we try to memorize and to allow it to effect our daily lives and lifestyle.

So we decided to try to memorzie different sections of the book of Proverbs. We're starting off with Proverbs 1:7-18 and Im memorizing from The Message translation and all week the very last verse has been stuck in my mind. The Message translates it as "When you grab all you can get, thats what happens: the more you get, the less you are." All week Ive been thinking about how much my life revolves around trying to grab all I can get. I mean isnt that the American dream?

Ive also been listening to a series of sermons from Mars Hill Bible Church, which is titles God is Green and its talking about how we are to take care of the earth and all kinds of examples of how we can do that and Ive been convicted by the talks, but I also to some extent feel like, well is it really going to make a difference if its just me that trys to make a difference in caring for our earth? I know I know I shouldnt think that way but I do. Do you ever feel like your the only one around you that actually cares about downsizing the things in your life and your lifestyle? Or that you dont even know where to begin to downsize your life or lifestyle cause all you've been trying to do is "grab all you can get"?

Well I realize that downsizing and taking care of the earth is a journey as well, that its not something that is just going to happen over night, but sometimes I just look around and feel so overwhelmed that I dont know where to begin or if its maybe too late even sometimes.

But I feel like Im starting to care enough, or at least starting to really feel convicted of how Im living and how much stuff I just try to grab to make me look cooler or better or smarter or whatever feeling or adjective you want to insert. Tonight Court and I baught energy saving light bulbs, hopefully the first step to many new ways of living in trying to do our part. I heard that by buying energy saving bulbs, that the energy that you are saving is like taking somewhere around 100 cars off the road, I believe thats what I heard, whatever it is it saves a ton of energy just by buying little energy saving light bulbs. So if you have anymore new ideas or suggestions of how we can take care of the earth better let us know.

And if your at all interested in memorizing scripture with us, we're on Proverbs 1:7-18 this week, and I can update each week. I know most of you that read this and we miss you guys and hopefully we'll see you guys very soon.

"When you grab all you can get, thats what happens: the more you get, the less you are"

2007-08-05T22:36:00.000-04:00

Well the weekend was great. Court and I camped, with Jake and had great late night talks and caught up with Jake. It was something that was much needed and it was a great get away. I loved being in the mountains and being in a place where you can get away from everything and really honestly feel like you can be who you are. We went out and got coffee in an awesome coffee shop and if I lived there Id probably spend most of my time there. We had great talks about church and possibly planting one, Im not sure I like that term, but it will work. Ive been wrestling with the idea of community and "church planting." I've had a few talks with some close friends about the possibility about it and so its been on the brain lately.

This post is really meaningless, sorry for that. Just an update on what Ive been doing. Hopefully there will be a more thoughtful and provoking blog to come.

Camping

2007-08-02T15:36:00.000-04:00

Well my next post will have to wait a bit. . because. . .Court and I are going camping this weekend with one of our best friends. . Jacob. . .I cant wait. Its going to be great to see Jake again, to camp and maybe do some swimming in a lake or jumping off water falls or something. . .I love being outdoors and it cant get much better with your wife and and of your best friends. . .this weekends is much needed.

ps. . .I might look into getting my other tattoo, we'll see. :)

Beloved. . .

2007-07-25T16:00:00.000-04:00

So I've been extremely busy with everything going on. All of my favorite people coming for a long weekend, our wedding, then honeymoon, then getting back into the grind with working and just getting used to this area and this stage of life.

So I finally started reading a book that Ive been wanting to read for a while now. Its called Life of the Beloved by Henri Nouwen. Within this book, he talks about a conversation he had with a reporter that later became one of his good friends. This reporter came to him to do a report on his life and in their first conversation, Henri just out of the blue asks him if he likes his job and what he would really like to do. Well the man wanted to write a novel but figured he couldnt, because he either didnt have the time to take off work, or the money or the talent to write a novel. Well Nouwen suggests to him the he come stay with him for a year and write his novel and he makes a statement that has been with me, challenging me ever since. Nouwen said to the reporter and to us as well that we are to ". . .claim your deepest desire and do what you really want to do. . . time and money arent the real issue." And the reporter repsonds with, "What is?" "You are, you have nothing to lose. You are young, full of energy, well trained. . .Everything is possible for you. . .Why let the world squeeze you in?. . .Why become a victim? You are free to do what you want, if, that is, you really want it."

And when I sit back and look at my life, I feel like too many times Ive allowed the world to "squeeze me in." I just do things because thats what the world tells us we are supposed to do. But hasnt God placed these desires and passions and longings in us for a reason? Arent we to act upon those and enjoy those and enjoy our jobs and whatever else we do? Maybe this apply's to no one else and thats ok with me, because Nouwen's quote spoke to me about not doing things just because thats what the world tells us to do, but to follow and pursue your passions and desires, to act upon them.

"I believe that people can make choices and make them according to their own best aspirations. I also believe people seldom make these choices. Instead, they blame the world, the society, and others for their 'fate' and waste much of their life complaining."

Part 2 from Life of the Beloved soon to come. . .

Redeem . . .

2007-06-10T23:02:00.000-04:00

So Ive been teaching a college age Sunday School class for about 3 weeks now, and we're going through the book of Malachi. And Ive felt ok about it so far, nothing spectacular or anything, and I honestly havent gotten a lot of feedback from the students, they just sit there and listen and dont say much. So Ive been a little skeptical about it, and wondering if it does happen to grow, if this is the age I want to try to target my energy towards.

Well tonight I had dinner here with the Blums and one of the guys that is in the class, well he's been questioning a lot of what he knows and believes, which is a good thing, to make it his own, so he has been one that I have wanted to connect with. Well tonight at the dinner table, Courtney's younger sister said she was talking to him today and said that he just loves me and wants to be my best friend and hang out with me. Which that makes ya feel good and then someone else said that they were talking to one of the college age girls that hasnt been able to make it yet and has been disappointed cause she really wants to come to my class. So thats good news to hear that maybe Im making a bit of connection with the students and challenging them.

Thats really what Im trying to do with the students, is challenge them and really to challenge myself as well and make them think a little bit and to see that the Bible and the Old Testament here in particular is applicable to us today.

Here is an interesting statement and a question for you that I have . . proposed by Neo in A New Kind of Christian by Brian McLaren, Neo says that "That's why, in my mind, it should be possible to be a Christian and yet be culturally Buddhist, Muslim, or Navajo."

What do you think, is it possible?

"Jesus came not to drive the culture from the people but the sin from the culture. He came not to condemn our culture but to redeem it"

What do you think?

First Day. . .

2007-06-09T11:00:00.000-04:00

Well Friday was my first day of my new job. I have to drive across the water to the other side of the peninsula to get to work in downtown Norfolk. Well traffic can be horrible some days getting across the water, so I made sure that I left early enough to get there at 8. So I left the house at 6:30 am, just to make sure I got there. Well I pulled into the parking garage at 7:05 am, and I wasnt supposed to be there until 8 am. Luckly I had brought an old C.S. Lewis book with me to re-read and so I sat there for 45 minutes and read until I was supposed to get into the office.

This weekend is a big weekend in Norfolk, its called Harbor Fest, dont really know what its about but its busy downtown, so we're opening up our 3 garages that we manage and selling parking spots to the public, so we have to be there to "man" the garages so to speak.

So my first day on the job, was a VERY long day. I got there at 7:05, due to no traffic, and I left downtown Norfolk around 10:15 pm. Thats right, around a 15 hour first day on the job, and I get to back into work this afternoon and probably work just as late again tonight. But it was horrible, not something I would say I enjoyed, but it wasnt horrible. But that ranks up there on the list of first days on the job Id have to say.

Parking anyone?

2007-06-05T17:14:00.000-04:00

Well friends, the 3 of you that maybe read this, I am no longer a bum, well maybe, but I am no longer unemployed. I accepted a job today with a company call Lanier Parking Systems, they manage parking garages. I will be an Assistant Manager/Manager In Traning with them. Bascially it will be a lot of relational managing. Ill be in contact with the owners of the parking, the tenants of the garage, and all of the other guest parkers, the employees, (cashiers, maintenance crew, etc) and all of the business that rent from us. I will also assistant in the financial side of things and making sure everything matches up and so on. So we'll see how it all goes, for the time, Im excited about the opportunity. My manager is a younger guy as well, maybe 2 or 3 years older than I am, so that will be cool to work with a guy my age. Just a little update for you all out there.

Im reading A New Kind of A Christian, I know its a little older, but anywho, its still good and its a good break for me. I tend to read just information books type of deal, and this one seems to be a little more fictional type of deal. And after this, I really want to try to finish reading Seven Story Mountain by Thomas Merton.

What books are you all reading?

What music are you into right now?

Trying. . .

2007-05-29T22:28:00.000-04:00

so im trying to get used to the scenery of what im calling "home" now. yorktown, virginia. its kind of a bigger transition than what i thought it would be. i thought that i was pretty good at making changes and adjusting well to new situations. ive come to find out that im not as good as i thought i was. which has been a humbling experience to some extent. its been sort of lonely out here for these few weeks ive been here without courtney and without you all. im starting to make some friends and become closer to them, which is good, really good. but they seem to be a lot more used to this suburbia lifestyle and more ok with it than i am, which is ok, its just not me. im not saying im right they're wrong or that they're right and im wrong, although thats probably the better answer, im just saying its not me.

but you all know me and know that i just dont care much for the dressing up of stuff to make it look all pretty and inviting and try to lure people in. whether thats church or just businesses around here or your own lifestyle with the clothes and cars you buy/wear/drive. so it will be a challenge to see how i adjust to this. and on one hand i hope i dont give in or fall into this trap of trying to look to impress everyone and dress a certain way on sundays or whatever it may be. but i dont want to do that do just be the black sheep and stand out and say hey look at me. i just want to be true to who i am and not fall into this game that seems to be played.

on a lighter note, i think im going to buy a mountain bike sometime soon (hopefully) and start training and entering these adventure races. you paddle (canoe or kayak), then you run, then you bike and you have check points you have to go to. a friend of mine here and i and possibly another guy here are wanting to get into it. so im really lookign forward to that.

and i might train to run a half-marathon (13.1 miles), i know not the smartest idea, i want to, but i dont know if i have the will power to do that or the ability or the mind or. . .whatever it takes to do that.

i know im rambling off about stuff that is meaningless to most people. but these are just thoughts that have been in my head since ive been here a few weeks and watched people and met people.

ya know, sometimes i just want to go to the brewery, have smoke, drink a beer, and have good conversations about god, church, life, and friends with some of the best friends a guy could ask for.

but instead, you all with just have to come to me in a month or so and we'll do that somewhere out here, when you all come to my wedding. cant wait to see you all then!

2007-04-18T16:10:00.000-04:00

So I know it seems like it has been years since I have updated, and it almost has. And Im sure the two of you that read this think. . well he doesnt have anything else to do. . and maybe your right but . . . . tomato. .tomoto.

All I want to post is that Im going to miss some of my best friends in life with this move that is happening. And Im sad. Happy about the new opportunities but sad about leaving you.

I'll have to find new people to share my same laughter, same taste in books, same taste in music and people that I can call at a drop of a hat to go out for a drink or smoke or a talk. . .

I guess this just means that we'll have to really make time to see each other and to have vacations together and such. My friends. . .I cant tell you how much Im going to miss having you 15 minutes away. I love you all. . .but we'll see each other soon and we'll go to the local bar and have a drink and smoke a pipe and catch up and talk for hours like we havent missed a step, and for that, Im thankful.

Cross that river. . .

2007-02-12T00:05:00.000-05:00

Crossings

Well we had our first service today. (sigh) Its been a long time coming for some people and it was good to finally start meeting and get the ball rolling so to speak. Everything went really good with set-up and the service went great and God was definitely blessing everything that happened today.

So I just got back from about a 2 hour escapade of driving around to all the Knoxville Super Wal-Mart's with Bill trying to find a video camera. We finally found it at the last stop of the evening, which happened to be at 11:45 pm. But it was a good trip and well worth it and as always. . .good conversation, something I needed.

So I've been feeling like this large weight has been on my back as of lately with trying to figure out this job situation and really this life situation and where Court and I are supposed to be, whether thats here in Knoxville or maybe California or who knows where. And Bill and I just talked a little bit about that this evening. You know, sometimes I just wish things weren't so hard sometimes. And thats what Bill and I were talking a little about tonight, he's been here in this situation and understands it and its not the easiest position in the world to be at or the easiest thing in the world to do. But there has always been this scripture that has always challenged me in my life and its found in Matthew 7:13-14. "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." These two verses have never failed to pop up in my life when times are getting rough and things aren't going like I had planned them to, but they always seem to show up at these times to challenge me.

Its not so much saying that its hard to become a Christian, but rather its hard to live as Christ lived and to live as Christ calls us to live and few decide to take that road. But Im not even sure if Im close to even being on that road or if I've ever been on that road, or maybe Im walking on that road right now. I dont know.

Its hard path at times to be upon and not the most popular path, but I really do believe with everything in me that its the only true and right path to be upon. And aren't we all searching for life anyway? And we're told that Christ has come to bring us life and to have it to its fullest, and then we're told to enter through the narrow gate which leads to life, which is Christ. So if Christ is what brings us life and to get to Christ, you must enter the narrow gate and walk along the narrow road, then shouldn't we do that? What else is there for us to do?

Something More?

2007-01-31T22:09:00.000-05:00

There has to be something more, right? Something more than just living this thing we've come to know as the "American Dream." And who came up with the "American Dream" anyway. As I sat in what has become one of my favorite places here in Knoxville, The Orange Martini and smoke my pipe, which is part of why I like it, I like smoking my pipe because I feel a little smarter when I do and maybe a little bit like C.S. Lewis or someone like that. I was sitting there watching the individuals in that place thinking, "Yeah, I wouldnt mind living the American dream, but isnt there something bigger, arent we made for something more? Something more than just going to work, making money, getting married and supporting our families and buying things that we think make us happy?" Isnt there something bigger than this "American Dream?"

Sure following after Christ and giving up our lives isnt always as appealing at first as all the money, power, fame and materials that the "American Dream" offers us, but from my experience, nothing compares to the love, acceptance and family that you gain from giving up that "American Dream."

I might be off or wrong, but to me, pursuing that "American Dream" seems like the gate that everyone goes through that Jesus talks about in Matthew 7:13, "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it." I love The Message version of this passage, Don't look for shortcuts to God. The market is flooded with surefire, easygoing formulas for a successful life that can be practiced in your spare time. Don't fall for that stuff, even though crowds of people do. The way to life--to God!-is vigorous and requires total attention."

Does it seem in some way that it really is like a shortcut to try to get to God by pursuing after the "American Dream." You make it all about you and what you want to do and where you want to go, and you isolate yourself from other people and even God. Im not saying that when we chase after that dream rather than God, that we stop seeking God, but it becomes harder for us to catch the vision of God and of being in community with others and stop being dependent on God to some extent and even to others. And by all means I am not saying that if you are wealthy, you are going to hell, dont hear that, Im not saying that at all, but what I am saying is bless others as you have been blessed.

The market is flooded with formulas for a successful life, but the way to life, to God is vigorous and it requires total attention. Until we, and mind you I am talking to myself probably more than anyone here, but until we come to see the dream of God, this dream of taking care of each other, of loving each other as more liberating than the "American Dream", nothing will ever change.

I believe that giving is more fulfilling than keeping, that love really can over come hatred and that light really can overcome darkness.

"If you see some brother or sister in need and have the means to do something about it but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing, what happens to God's love? It disappears. And you made it disappear." (1 John 3:17 - The Message) To quote Mark Nelson, "Live beyond yourself."

I have. . .

2007-01-20T01:46:00.000-05:00

So I had been wanting to get this fleece jacket for a while now. So Court and I were out and about one day and we happened to stop by The Mast General Store, which is awesome and I found it there on sale for 50% off and I just couldnt pass it up because I couldnt bring myself to pay full price for one, which is why I never had one until now. But here is my dilemma with the purchase I have made.

When we first showed up there, I wasnt in a bad mood at all, I was just kind of its good to be here and with Court, but Im not overly excited type of mood. When I first saw the jacket I thought, man thats a really good price and I liked the color of it and thought, you know what, Ive been wanting this jacket for a while so why not. As soon as I made the purchase, I immediately entered into this new realm of happiness for the day.

As we continued on our journey for the day, we were driving out west and my mind was just bouncing around as usual and I thought to myself, you know, Im in a better mood. So I thought, what got me into a better mood, and I came to the conclusion that it was the buying of the jacket. And its already been kind of a long month or so with wrestling with some questions and with trying to find a new job and so I was happy about a very good purchase I made.

Then I thought to myself, why cant I be this happy about my relationship with God? Why cant I be this happy after a good read or a good conversation Ive had with God or with a friend or after an encounter with a customer or with Sam at Panera? Why do I have to buy something to make me feel better? Buy? Why is it that buying things make us happier but spending time in prayer doesnt, we just end up complaining, whether in our head or verbally after 5 minutes of prayer. Im not saying buying stuff is bad at all, because I love to shop, I know, its the girl side coming out in me, but I enjoy buying stuff, which Im sure we all do. But why do I have to buy something to make myself happy? Why cant I just be as happy when I hear about a friend getting a job that pays pretty good when I still dont enjoy my job? Why cant I be just as happy when Courtney has had a good day teaching? Why cant I be just as happy about someone overcoming an addiction or whatever it may be? Why is it that I really only become happy inside when something good happens to me? This just seems so selfish on my part.

Maybe because somehow in my life Ive bought into this idea that its about me and in order to be happy and make myself happy I have to be the one succeeding and I have to be the one doing good and I have to be the one that looks good and I have to and I have to and I have . . .

Who?

2007-01-16T23:48:00.000-05:00

You ever feel just beat down?

And not just physically, but mentally, spiritually. I feel like my head is just way to full to hold all of the information, all the questions, all the doubts and fears that I have going into my head. I have been meeting with two of my closest friends one night throughout the week and we have been discussing a book(The Shaping of Things To Come) and this book really challenges the way the Western Church is done and how they have gone about being Christ in the flesh and even how we are still going about being Christ. And this book has been great and we have just been through the introduction and the first chapter and already I have myself questioning a lot more than I ever imagined, on good level though.

And in one of the paragraphs, he explains that our Christology(study of the nature of Christ) should define our Missiology(study of the mandate, message and work of the Christian faith) and then those should define our Ecclesiology(study of the scriptues pertaining to the Church itself as a community and what the "church" is). And this was a beautiful to me. How did I miss this order of things?

For too long I myself and I would almost go out on a limb and say that we here in the Western World have gone backwards with that. Our Ecclesiology defines our Missiology and they define our Christology. We have made Jesus into who we want Him to be for us in our comfortable world. During the end of the discussion Tuesday evening, my friend Kenny made one of the most soul bearing, raw, honest and truthful statements I have heard in a very long time. With bearing his soul to us, he said "Im not sure I know what my Christology is." That comment cut to the core of me. This is what my mind and my soul has been telling my heart for the last few years, but I've missed the signals and all the signs and I just got hit with it Tuesday night. Who is Jesus? Who is Jesus to me? What does my life say about who Jesus is? Who is He really in our lives? Is He really the Lord of all, the King of Kings, the Savior of the world? Or is He just a prophet and someone that said some really meaningful and thought provoking things 2,000 years ago? Who is Jesus? Who is Jesus to you? What is your Christology?

Early Christmas For Me

2006-11-30T11:10:00.000-05:00

All I need/have to say is that I bought Sufjan Stevens new Christmas CD.

Ready, Set, Action!

2006-11-28T21:32:00.000-05:00

So I went to my first book club this morning, and I really enjoyed it even though I didn't say a word during the conversation. To be honest I feel somewhat intimidated by the brains that are in that circle. But I really enjoyed it and I really am going to try to make this a weekly event, if work will allow this. So they're reading through the book Simply Christian by N.T. Wright and its my first Wright book and I really like what he has to say.

Just a few quoates from the book that really got me thinking.

"Not all Jews of this period believed in or wanted a coming Messiah. But those who did, an they were many, cherished a frequently repeated set of expectations as to what the anointed one would do when he arrived. He would fight the battle against Israel's enemies-specifically, the Romans. He would rebuild, or at least cleanse and restore, the Temple (a task that, as noted earlier, the Herod family had undertaken, to press their claim to be the true royal house)."

"Nobody was expecting anyone, least of all al Messiah, to rise from the dead. A crucified Messiah was a failed Messiah."

"Nothing in Jewish literature or imagination had prepared people for a portrait like this. If the gospel writers had something up to fit a preconceived notion the one thing they would certainly had done is describe the risen Jesus shining like a star. Accoding to Daniel 12:3 (a very influential passage in Jewish thought at the time), this was how the righteous would appear at the resurrection. But Jesus didn't."

"The death of Jesus of Nazareth as the king of the Jews, the bearer of Israel's destiny, the fulfillment of God's promises to his people of old, is either the most stupid, senseless wast and misunderstanding the world has ever seen, or it is the fulcrum around which world history turns."

"The music he wrote must now be performed. The early disciples saw this, and got on with it."

The last two quotes are the two that really got me thinking and the feeling I got from reading this last chapter is that its time to stop talking about Jesus and talking about the church and talking about how we are Christians and it's time to start living that out,it's time to stop doing church and start being the church, it's time to we allow Jesus to effect us in day to day life, in our every thought, every action.

It's time we the musicians start to play this music that has been written for us.

Marriage vs. Dating

2006-11-13T20:34:00.002-05:00

So as most of you know, the wedding day is approaching, not super fast but June 30th will be here before you know. So I've been thinking about wedding and the bond of marriage and I get excited about it and wanting to be that person for Courtney. But I've also been thinking about the difference it will be between dating and marriage and how much more of a commitment it is and how much deeper everything runs. Divorce is not an option in a marriage situation, not in my case at least and most of my friends. You don't just break up with each other in a marriage.

Marriage is one of the main metaphors God used to describe our relationship to Him. He uses this on an individual level and a corporate level, a husband and wife, Christ and the church and Christ obviously as the groom and we as his bride.

Well I've been thinking about the marriage vs dating situation and how much deeper everything goes. When you date someone, you do things so that the other person will think you're awesome and if they don't think your awesome then you usually take your show and go somewhere else and see if someone else likes it better. But if you are convinced that the other one likes you, and you don't want to take your show somewhere else, you then start to perform less and less and settle into something more like loving and serving that person and thats usually where marriage comes into play.

However when I think about the church, we tend to be more partial to dating, we still like to put on the show and we still like to do things that make us feel better and make us happy and make us comfortable and make us feel safe and so we have gotten to the point to where we have settled for simply talking about the Kingdom rather than actively living it out.

Think about this marriage metaphor, the people in attendance that day can obviously see that the husband and wife are in love. The minister asks the groom, "Do you take this woman to be your bride?" and with strength in his voice he says, "I do" and then he turns to the bride and asks, "Do you take this man to be your husband?" and as the bride, we say, "I want to" and we really do mean it and we really do want to be his bride, but we just can't say I do. Why is this?

You see, it seems to me that somewhere along this road we've been traveling on, we as the church and we as individuals have decided we'd rather just date.

Im Gonna Lay Down My Burdens

2006-11-08T16:37:00.000-05:00

So I realize that its been years it seems like since I last blogged, so I do apologize to all 3 of you that actually read this. No need to make excuses for my laziness in blogging, but I do finally feel like things are starting to fall into place.

Im going to be trying to blog at least once a week to at least give a bit of an update on how the week is going and my thoughts at the time, but hopefully I'll blog more than that.

A friend of mine from this summer recommended that I read the book The Kingdom of Couches by Will Walker. Up to this point of reading it, I would recommend it, nothing that just makes your jaw drop, but still a good book and a very good book on the importance of community, so with that said, Id say yeah, give it a look.

He poses a very intersting question to some of his students at the University of Texas, he's on staff at Texas with Campus Crusade for Christ, he asks, "If I could choose when to go to heaven, would I rather die and go right away or keep living and go later?" To sum up his answer to why he would rather stay here on earth, he quotes Paul from Philippians1:23-25 where Paul realizes that of course it would be better to go to Heaven, but also recognizes that it would be better for the Philippians that he stay for their "progress and joy in the faith." He realizes that the Philippians need him.

Where am I going with all of this you ask, well here is where Im trying to go. Paul would rather stay here and edure this place just a little bit longer for the sake of the Philippians. He realized that this life is not about him, he gave up his status of being someone important and in a powerful position to follow Christ and submit to his authority.

I too often see in myself and in other Christians where we are still way too concerned about ourselves and even though we say we are not about ourselves and selfless, deep down, the reason we do the things we do is to make ourselves look just a little bit better, even if its just a little bit better. Will Walker says that we don't have to die to ourselves, all we have to do is "spiritualize my pursuit of being important."

Jesus' hope for us a followers is that we may be brought "to complete unity to let the world know that [God] sent [Jesus] and has loved us even as He has loved Jesus." It is still more than just a community, but rather a missional community as Walker puts it. "People infused with the love of God, overflowing to everyone around them." People who instead of striving to be important, rather strive to be significant. If we as a community and not just as a community here in Knoxville or whatever city you may be in, but on the bigger scale, a community of Christ followers are taking the Gospel to the people around us and those around us don't see a community then it seems fake or irrelevant, but if they see a community and don't hear the gospel, then it comes across as being exclusive and some type of club to be in or even worse, judgmental.

Will we decide to settle for the good life of being important, making enough money, being part of a church, looking good to everyone else, or will we strive to significant and strive to become one so that the world around us will know that Jesus is who he says he is.

Read Hebrews 11:13-16

May God not be ashamed to be called our God

Community

2006-09-10T18:56:00.000-04:00

So I know that Im not the best at it and I fail not just daily, but more like hourly, but God has really been teaching how to love on all levels and to love with no strings attached. And this has been something that has been going on for the last year or so and God has been using Scripture and friends to teach me how to love. Looking back, here are a few observations; Vaka - any of you that know Vaka know that he wears his emotions on his sleeve and he lets you know what and how he feels about you. Vaka, you taught me that its ok to express how your feeling and how much you love a friend and in particular, between two guys, its hard to express that sometimes cause we have to be "manly" and telling your best guy friends that you love them apparently isnt the coolest thing to do these days, I beg to differ now days. Thank you for teaching me Vaka. Kenny - If you are around Kenny and Nicole for 5 minutes, you know that Kenny loves her to death. Kenny has taught me a lot on how to love Courtney by watching him love Nicole. I could write a whole page about this, but I'll spare you. Thank you beyond words Kenny on teaching me by example. Bill and Betsy - given their situation at their previous church, you've taught me how to love people and simply love them in a situation that is from hell basically. I've learned how to be persistent to where God has called his people and to love the people no matter what the situation is at the time, love the people God has placed around you. Thank you Bill and Besty for that. Courtney - She has taught me how to love myself. If you know me then you know that Im my biggest critic and sometimes dont have the most confidence in myself and she has given me that confidence and given me the support that I need and I too often forget how lucky I am. Thank you Courtney. Taylor - Taylor really through this last year and all of his trials and all of the talks we had, which are some of my favorite times when I look back, not because of his trials bet because of the opportunity to grow together in God and to learn from him, but through all of that Taylor really taught me how to love God more and to always go to Him first and seek Him first and to soak everything in prayer, thank you Taylor. Again I could go on for days because these are just a few that have taught me tremendously. I feel like Im sitting on a perfect oppotunity to love another good friend that needs love more than anything right now in his life and I and all my other friends have the perfect opportunity to love him and to reel him back. I get frustrated when I see some of his friends just cut the line and give him no chance, that hurts my feelings and it also makes me angry so Im sorry for coming across as a jerk sometimes, but I love this guy and I feel like if we lose him this time he's gone, and I dont want that to happen. Again God has taught me beyond words on how to love and Im so thankful for all my friends and all that you have taught me and we are living the faith, we are living it out, thank you for being the community that I need. I hope that I too can be that for you guys.

P.S. - I started today reading probably the thickest book or at least one of the thickest as far as theology goes (Desiring God - John Piper) and I cant wait to see what He teaches me.

I love you all.

Logos

2006-08-22T18:23:00.000-04:00

How powerful are words in your life. . .are words you say just words or do they mean something more? I was reading last night from a commentary on the book of John that I have recently decided to spend some time in. And the author of the commentary was giving a brief background on the Jewish culture and he was talking about how John really focuses on Jesus being the "logos" or the word. As I was reading I came upon this statement that stuck out in my mind; "To the Jew a word was far more than a mere sound;it was something that had an independent existence and which actually did things."

I feel like words dont mean anything to us Americans anymore. I always hear the statement that is somewhat along the lines that actions speak louder than words. I do believe that is true, but I however also believe that we need to place a higher emphasis on the words we say and hear. In Biblical times, there were not 2 or 3 Bibles in every household sitting on the coffee table or in the drawer next to your bed. All they had were words, they didn't have the New Testament in 8 different versions as we do today, so they would gather around and have these meetings and share the gospel through words. I do understand that we do need to know our culture and know how to reach our culture and I know that our culture is one that says that actions do speak louder than words and so I understand that we do need to be people of action, but I believe we as Christians need to place a higher emphasis on the words that we say and hear and like the Jewish culture in the time of John, may they not be a "mere sound", but may they be "something that had an independent existence and which actually did things." May the words we use, bring action, may the words we hear, may they cause us to be people of action and not just let them go in one ear and out the ear. God created the heavens and the earth by speaking words.

"If you wish to see that word of God, if you wish to see the creative power of God, if you wish to see that word which brought the world into existence and which gives light and life to every man, look at Jesus Christ. In him the word of God came among you."

Painting

2006-08-12T01:13:00.000-04:00

So we, and when I say we I mean my dad, brother and myself, decided to paint the little side porch tonight. Well we didnt decide to do this until about 4 o'clock tonight. So we brainstormed and maybe two trips to Home Depot and 7 1/2 hours or so later, we still dont have the porch painted. Not only did we decide to paint it, but by all new ladice to go around the porch and on the top and apparently we have a big party here tomorrow night for Ben and his welcome back into the states. So we have a lot of work to do before 5:30 tomorrow night. We'll see how it goes.

I took a little trip this afternoon to Best Buy and Barnes and Noble to look/buy some cds. I wanted to buy about 6 or 7 but I brought it down to 2. I bought an older Ryan Adams cd - Gold and went with a group called BR549, kind of a country rock style, I like it so far. Im excited to be back in Knoxville soon so I'll have disc exchange close at hand, and Mckays and good friends with good music taste and good music I havent heard yet.

Oh and apparently you can rent CDs now at the library, my sister goes there and borrows them.

Does anyone read this anymore. . .I dont think they do. Maybe this is a lost cause?

What Are We Doing?

2006-08-09T13:01:00.000-04:00

I feel like we've missed it. When I say we, I mean the church. The American Church. I feel like the people in church today just dont get it. Church and being a part of the church today means going on Sunday and maybe even being a part of a small group or bible study, whatever you want to call it, maybe even being a part of a community service project, maybe even being an elder or deacon and then having your own life at home. I am learning more and more that everything, everything we do is spiritual and there is not a seperation between the "secular" and the "spiritual" or "religious". There is no such thing and it breaks my heart to see churches today and even individuals, including myself at times, miss the point, miss what its all about.

Ive been thinking alot about what and where to go as far as ministry goes and to be honest, I feel completely lost on where God is leading me. But I do know that I want to create an enviroment and be a part of people that really get it, that its abour relationships, its about community, its about love, its about caring for each other. I want to be apart of a church and community that gets back to the simple truth of it being all about Jesus and coming back to Jesus. I want to be a part of a church and community that lives the gospel, speaks the gospel, eats and drinks and breaths the gospel. I want to be around people that know that this life, this christian life is not simply a game, its not something that we do three days a week, its not even about doing good things, its about Jesus and the redemption that He offers us. I think Mark Driscoll says it best when he said that "God's mission is not to create a team of moral and decent people but rather create a movement of holy loving missionaires who are comfortable and truthful around lost sinners and who, in this way, look more like Jesus".

I dont want to be known for something he does or doesnt do, but rather I want to be known for something that I am.

Top five

2006-08-08T12:20:00.000-04:00

Give me your top 5 books to read. . .or however many. . .top five best books you've read or maybe top 5 books to read now. . .or something. .

No One Told me. . .

2006-08-03T16:48:00.000-04:00

Well we made it up to Port Hope, Michigan, which is at the very tip of the thumb of Michigan. The first few days we were here it felt like we were in the fourth ring of hell it was so hot. It is an extremely laid back town and a very old town, which is really cool to see. Grandad has a ridiculously amount of antiques in the house and out in the two barns, its amazing to see. Today it finally cooled down and it feels amazing. We worked on fixing/making a new gate for the back yard, that was cool, for a while however I felt like I was just following them around like a lost puppy dog but things changed today and I was able to actually do some manual labor on the farm so that was fun. Ive been sleeping in a bed that I feel like was made in the 1800's and I feel like Ive been sleeping on a board, but hey Im not complaining cause its got a roof over top and its better then sleeping on the cement or something. No one told me it was this nice up here, this is my first trip to Michigan, first of many Im sure, but its been a good one and Im glad I was able to finally make it up here to see what Courtney will inherit one day. Its been good to meet some people up here and try to learn the history of Port Hope and all that jazz. We went to a graveyard last night and Grandad was telling me all about all the generations that were buried there and I couldnt keep up with him. It was Grandad's Great Grandfather that foudned the town of Port Hope so Courtney is the fourth generation, which was cool to see all of this. I would love to bring our friends up here one day and just hang out up here and to see this area and to just relax, that means you Bill and Betsy and Kenny and Nicole and Jake and whoever you might be with at that time, and Vaka and Shannon if they're still around this side of town and whoever else I may have forgotten, but we will pencil it in our scheldue books and see what we can do one day hopefully. This town is great for relaxing and catching up on some reading, when your not working on the gate or one of the other 3,487 jobs to do around here, but its still great. The town basically shuts down at 9:30 and the house has a beautiful big front porch that I love to perch myself on and just watch and listen and think.

Well we are getting ready to go out to eat, all the family so Im going to get off here. Oh and just to let you know. . .no one told me that I had to bring maybe some "nice" clothes up here for dinner. The guys dressed up nicely in polo shirts and either nice jeans or khaki's and the ladies all dressed up nicely and then here I am in old jeans, chuck taylor's and a good will t-shirt. I didnt bring anything else. . .oh well, nothing new to me though. .Ive always felt a little like the black sheep so no worries folks. . .I'll just keep on keeping on.

I'll see you all soon hopefully and Im reading a book on the Jewish culture and the Jews in the time of Jesus. . .interesing. . .goodbye

Let The Road Trips Begin

2006-07-29T11:37:00.000-04:00

Well Im back from CIY with the youth group and it was really good. Many people that I had talked to said that they thought it was the best they've been to in years and Id have to agree with them, it was pretty good. We had a little trouble with the youth group this year, again as we do every year, but it was the first night there in the dorms and so needless to say we didnt get to bed until 3 or so that morning.

It was good to see some old faces and to meet some new ones. Some of you may know that Court and I have been talking and just wondering about church planting and whether or not thats what we want to do or called to do and while at school I talked to two good friends about doing church planting and especially up in the New England area and they too had talked to each other about doing it as well, without knowing that I had talked to them both as well. Well I met a guy this week, one day at lunch and all the seats were taken by my youth group so I decided to meet someone new. I asked if this seat was taken and he said no and our friendship began. We introduced oursevles and did all of that get to know you stuff. . .where you from . .what do you do and so on. Well he began to ask me about what my plan is after the internship was over and I went on to tell him about helping out with a church plant here in Knoxville and then proceded to tell him about my ideas of maybe doing church planting in the New England area. Well Rick got real big and wide eyed and said "No Way", at this time I just assumed he was an energetic guy, but he began to tell me his story. Well Rick was from a bigger church in Florida, but he grew up in Rhode Island and would love to go back there. He began to tell me about how God was working in him and about how a few weeks ago they had a guest speaker come in and talk to his congregation about church planting. He said it was very interesting to him and sparked something in him that caused him to want to move back to the New England area and maybe do church planting. He told me about how just this week, he had talked to someone about doing church planting and moving back to that area up north and about how he would love to go back and reach his home people. The New England area is deeply rooted in Catholicism and to be honest, I have not done a lot of research on Catholicism, but I am extremly interested not due to this fact, but I am just interested in learning about other religions and their beliefs, but this also gives me a little more motive. So with the fact that the New England area is so rooted in Catholicism, it would be great to have someone like Rick who grew up there and who has a heart for the peope of New England.

I feel like God is up to something. With this conversation and with the conversations I have had with friends at school and probably the conversations that I will have in the future.

On a lighter note we went to McKays last night, one of my favorite places here in Knoxville and I got two books Im excited about, The Desire of the Everlasting Hills and The Gifts of the Jews by Thomas Cahill. So Im looking forward to going up to Michigan to have some time to read these books and probably a few others.

I think that I put the finishing touches on the apartment that Kyle and I will be living in this year, pretty small but good enough for me and they're cheap so Im not going to complain. If you know of a good job or a good place for me to work, let me know.

Well we're getting ready to leave to head to Johnson City for Nate and Emily's wedding and to see some family so it will be fun. The road trips are about to begin, 1st stop - Johnson City, TN, 2nd stop - Noblesville, IN, 3rd stop - Port Hope, MI and then back to either Indiana or Knoxville, not sure yet for me. So I may not be able to post for a week or so with me being up in Michigan and not having a computer so to the few that read this, have a great week or two.

Cleave and Leave

2006-07-22T21:01:00.000-04:00

I leave tomorrow to go to CIY in Cleveland, TN at Lee University. With that said it might be a few days before I post next, I dont know if I'll have internet there or not. I kind of like this blog thing so far, it gives me a chance to write about whatever I want.

Im excited to get out of Memphis, its been an interesting summer to say the least. I've realized that I want to work with someone that is a little more organized than my "boss" this summer. Not that Im some kind of OCD person or anything, I just like to have things somewhat lined up and be somewhat organized and that wasnt the case this summer but thats ok. It was hard to get people motivated out here to do stuff and to acutally take God and Christianity serious. It's frustrating, and I know its not just here in Memphis but everyone there will be people, but its frustrating to me that people do not see church as something that is living and breathing rather than just a building. People think that being a "Christian" is just about being a good person and doing nice things and the right things and about saying the right things at the right time and looking good to everyone else. They fail to see the relational aspect of Christianity, the relational aspect between us and God and between us and other people. But I will take what I have learned here and value that and move on from here and onto the next thing. I will soak up the good that has taken place this summer.

Im looking forward to getting back into Knoxvegas and hopefully help out with a church plant. Thats something completely new to me and something that is extremly appealing and attractive to me, especially creating a come as you are enviroment and not reaching to the middle class, white amearicans and putting on a show for everyone, but actually having community and having relationships and caring for each other and praying for each other and loving each other and being the church.

Thats all I have for now, off to finish packing my car and getting things ready for the road.

Hi Betsy.

Here We Go

2006-07-21T12:32:00.000-04:00

Well here we go, I finally decided to give into to technology and into the fad thats going on. I've always been a little behind the times with getting the new and improved, next best thing. I didnt get my first cell phone until right before my freshman year of college, I still have an old computer (no MAC for me), just got an ipod for Christmas and still don't know of to fully work it, and I don't know that much about the technology world and so this will probably be a long and slow process so I ask for patience with me and this new project I am taking on. I've never been one that is great with journaling or keeping up with stuff like this, so we'll see how this goes, but I'll try to keep up and post as often as I remember to. I swore I wouldn't get a xanga, so I decided to get this instead and I may as well have one cause I read everyone else's, so here's to you Betsy.

Im getting ready to leave Memphis for good, we're taking the kids to CIY and then off to Nate and Emily's wedding I go then off to Port Hope, MI to see where I might end up one day with Courtney. Im actually pretty excited about the next few weeks and the traveling I will be able to do and just getting away and having some free time and being able to spend some time with the misses, haven't seen her much this summer, so it will be good times had by all. However I am also excited to get back into Knoxvegas and see friends and live there hopefully and maybe be involved in some new and exciting stuff that is soon to be happening there, still havent heard anything yet on the apartment however. Well thats about all I got for now, finishing packing up the office, I have too many books for my car I think, I may not have room for all my clothes and other belongings with all the books I brought, good thing Im a professional packer. But this has been fun and hopefully I'll hear from all 1 maybe 2 of you that will read this and hopefully you'll hear from me soon as well.