Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Trying. . .

so im trying to get used to the scenery of what im calling "home" now. yorktown, virginia. its kind of a bigger transition than what i thought it would be. i thought that i was pretty good at making changes and adjusting well to new situations. ive come to find out that im not as good as i thought i was. which has been a humbling experience to some extent. its been sort of lonely out here for these few weeks ive been here without courtney and without you all. im starting to make some friends and become closer to them, which is good, really good. but they seem to be a lot more used to this suburbia lifestyle and more ok with it than i am, which is ok, its just not me. im not saying im right they're wrong or that they're right and im wrong, although thats probably the better answer, im just saying its not me.

but you all know me and know that i just dont care much for the dressing up of stuff to make it look all pretty and inviting and try to lure people in. whether thats church or just businesses around here or your own lifestyle with the clothes and cars you buy/wear/drive. so it will be a challenge to see how i adjust to this. and on one hand i hope i dont give in or fall into this trap of trying to look to impress everyone and dress a certain way on sundays or whatever it may be. but i dont want to do that do just be the black sheep and stand out and say hey look at me. i just want to be true to who i am and not fall into this game that seems to be played.

on a lighter note, i think im going to buy a mountain bike sometime soon (hopefully) and start training and entering these adventure races. you paddle (canoe or kayak), then you run, then you bike and you have check points you have to go to. a friend of mine here and i and possibly another guy here are wanting to get into it. so im really lookign forward to that.

and i might train to run a half-marathon (13.1 miles), i know not the smartest idea, i want to, but i dont know if i have the will power to do that or the ability or the mind or. . .whatever it takes to do that.

i know im rambling off about stuff that is meaningless to most people. but these are just thoughts that have been in my head since ive been here a few weeks and watched people and met people.

ya know, sometimes i just want to go to the brewery, have smoke, drink a beer, and have good conversations about god, church, life, and friends with some of the best friends a guy could ask for.

but instead, you all with just have to come to me in a month or so and we'll do that somewhere out here, when you all come to my wedding. cant wait to see you all then!