these are just my random thoughts and struggles i'm facing and wrestling with . . . for several months now . . .

why is it that i feel that i could probably better live out the gospel today without what we know as the church today (the building) . . .

often times i feel like the absence of the pastor, minister, or whatever you want to call them, is more noticeable than the absence of jesus in churchers today . . .

why are we so content and okay with offering sacrifices to god that cost us nothing, me being as guilty as anyone . . . "i will not take for the lord what is yours, or sacrifice a burnt offering that costs me nothing." - king david . . .

(this is taken from the book crazy love by francis chan) . . . "when i was in high school, i seriously considered joining the marines . . . what turned me off was that in those advertisements, everyone was always running. always. and i hate running. but you know what? i didn't bother to ask if they would modify the rules for me so i could run less, and maybe also do fewer push-ups. . . somehow this realization doesn't cross over to our thinking about the christian life. jesus didn't say that if you wanted to follow him you could do it in a lukewarm manner." . . .

what is it that really holds us back from living like jesus? what is it that holds us back from giving everything up and doing what he has commanded us to do? doesn't scripture say that he will provide us with what we will need . . . something along the lines of god providing for the birds of the air, fish of the sea and the lilies of the field, how much more will he provide for his children . . .

how does living like jesus even look like today? . . .

how serious is all of this to be taken? . . .